Me & My N***a Was Flossy
Me and my Nigga was flossy; uh, never thought he would cross me—Damn, look what it cost me.
Flossy is a true story of betrayal. When I was 19, my fear of abandonment lead me into loving someone who had a heart of stone and could never return the love I gave. Betrayal is one of those things that completely shatters you in the moment but ultimately blesses you in the end.
Writing this song was painful because I had to tell the truth. I had to be real with myself about what I tolerated and all the times I silenced myself to keep the peace. I didn’t want to admit just how dangerous this season of my life was and how God’s mercy was the only thing that got me through.
I met this man on Utica Avenue while walking with my cousin towards Atlantic Avenue. He passed me and did a double take like he recognized me from somewhere. He complimented me and I brushed it off because I had braces and didn’t believe I was beautiful. We exchanged numbers and spoke for a couple of days before he met me on Crown Street. He told me that crossing Eastern Parkway to meet me was dangerous for him because he was now in a rival gang’s territory. We talked, and we slow danced outside with no music. He was 23 and I just turned 19. He had this charm that swept me off my feet and made me feel seen and wanted.
When I met him, he sold drugs and would constantly get arrested and assaulted by police. Any money he made, the police confiscated—so he was constantly back at square one. I got him an entry-level position at a former retail chain I used to work for so he could make money legally. In the wee hours of one morning, we got stopped for a traffic violation after dinner. While the police are approaching the vehicle, he tosses a ball of crack in a bag in my lap. I only had two seconds to act so I stuffed it in the bottom of my purse. I was still trying to situate the pack as the officer came up to my window. He flashed a flashlight in my bag and a prayed to God that I wouldn’t get searched. They asked for my ID and I had to carefully reach around the drugs to find my wallet without alerting the officer. I handed him my learner’s permit and they ran my name and saw a squeaky clean record. They ran his name and told him to step out of the car. They had him to a breathalyzer test since he said we were coming from dinner and ultimately let us go with a ticket. We were silent the entire car ride and never spoke about it again.
